SAHDism

a collection of thoughts by a Stay At Home Dad

“The Year of Living Sequeiralously”

Sweetness Over Time

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About a week ago, my youngest comes into the garage covered in sugar.  I had been in the middle of moving and arranging items as we are still in the middle of getting settled into our new house and his appearance in such a state really dampened my day (to put it mildly).  I had forgetfully left the jar on the counter instead of putting it in the cabinet and he had brought his step stool over to reach it.  I angrily whisked him off to the shower and scolded him for getting into the sugar jar.

My anger came from my feeling that he took advantage of a simple mistake while being preoccupied with trying to move into a new house while watching three kids.   I know it wasn’t out of spite – he just saw the sugar and wanted it – but it was frustrating not being able to leave the kids alone to play for a little bit so I could get a house project done.

As I was showering and scolding, my Dad took the empty sugar jar and placed it out of sight in back of the microwave, just to keep it out of the way.

That was a week ago.  Now, on a random weekday morning, as I am making a cup of tea in the calm quiet of a sleeping house, I find the empty sugar container and finally refill it so I can have my tea.  I smile as I recall the incident and picture him barely reaching the counter on his step stool to get the sugar and then sticking his fist in the bowl to finish every last bit of sweet crunchy goodness.  My son is a week older now, and with each passing week, he gets closer to growing up and moving on.

I’m fairly confident that the next time something like this happens, I’m going to get pissed off again.  Not sure if I can help that – I’ll get caught off guard when I’m tired and cranky and my kids are doing something they really shouldn’t be doing.  Even so, next time, I hope I find the sugar jar a little sooner, maybe after only three days.

Sometimes, You Just Need To Be Right

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I found my daughter playing with scissors in the playroom and immediately told her to stop.  I knew it was her safety scissors but I felt that scissors need to be used at the art table and with at least some initial parental guidance on the art project rather than random cutting while sitting on the carpet next to her brothers.

Daughter: “They’re safety scissors so no one will get hurt…see?!?!”

[pause for introspection]… This puts me in a difficult situation that I find myself in more often than I’d like.  I’m trying to set some safety rules to prevent injuries but when no one gets hurt, the kids think it’s a stupid rule.  For example, I let my kids walk ahead of me when we’re out walking but I make them stop at all streets, alleys, and driveways to look both ways.  If one of them forgets and starts running, I yell out and, while they do stop, they look at me with “stink eye” as I hold their hand to cross a street that didn’t have a car in either direction for as far as the eye can see…[end introspection]

Daddy:”Well, I don’t like you playing with them on the floor, and not when your brothers are around because they aren’t old enough, so please put them back where they belong for now.”

Angered, she throws the scissors down on the soft carpet and it bounces up and hits my middle boy in the arm and he starts crying, more out of shock than anything else.  Instantly, I see my opportunity and I seize it.

Daddy: “See, I TOLD you they’re dangerous.”

Don’t Cry

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Here’s a Daddy greeting card moment:

“Don’t cry because the TV is off, smile that I even let you watch it in the first place.”

What Dad REALLY Meant

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The Devil Is In The Details, and sometimes the details come in the form of the eldest child explaining how things “really work around here…”
(scene takes place in a crowded kitchen. Dad is cooking dinner and turns around to see three children doing something horrifically dangerous)

Dad: “GUYS, Stop that this INSTANT! You could get badly hurt!”

Big Sister, whispering loudly to her brothers: “That means we’re not allowed to do that when Daddy is watching.”

The Lucasian Method

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I practice the Lucasian method of child-rearing. This means that I quote Star Wars whenever possible since it takes me to a happier place when otherwise I would be going crazy. Here are some examples:

(at dinner time)
“Eat, or eat not. There is no whine.”

(tantrum time)
“I find your lack of coping skills disturbing.”

(poopie time)
“I felt a great disturbance in your shorts.”

(refusing to take a nap time)
“Mee-sah, gonna send your ass to bed-sah”

Other nerdy parents, feel free to add others; I’d love to add to my collection